Fear

Fear is a great motivator. Many times, it drives us. We, humans, have one or the other apprehension at all times in our minds. Today, I am going to talk about the monsters under my bed.

There are multiple ghosts in my life at the moment. I don’t know if I will be able to speak about them separately one by one because, in my mind, they are present all at once. First, I would like to discuss Identity Crisis. I think many of us face this issue, though we may not speak about it that often. When my mind and heart conversate, this is one of the first questions that we search for answers to.

Why am I here? What is my purpose? Am I on the right path? Who defines my life for me? Am I doing justice in this life? Will I achieve what I am here for? Will I ever know or understand the meaning of all that’s happening around me? What if I never find the reason for my very being?
These are some of the questions that arise within me. Because my purpose of being on this earth cannot be to work 10hours a day, earn a few bucks, get married, and have children. There is got to be more. Well, at least I hope there is more. I would not want to die like this. Here is another fear, to die without knowing or fulfilling your purpose. The fear of breathing but not being alive. Fear of dying unhappy. Fear of not finding love.

In this big world, love lets you build your small world. Love gives you a sense of belonging. A feeling that you aren’t alone. It gives you warmth in cold winter evenings. Every day there are births and deaths. Few of them are remembered for certain days/months or years and then everything is lost, like a puff in the air. What you were, what you did – good or bad, everything is forgotten. So what is it that we fear? Why can’t we be selfish and take decisions that would lead to our happiness? Because in the end, ultimately, that’s all that matters. Whether you were content or not? Whatever we do in our life, hardly impacts the lives of others. But still, when we weigh our options, we take everyone’s opinion into account. What would society think? What would our friends think?

We are born once and we can’t be sure if we will be alive the next second. So why are we always tensed? Why are we so worried and dull? We come to this world alone and alone we must go. All the relations that we make here are there to make our living easy. If these relations don’t make our life peaceful, what’s the purpose of having those?

I crave life to be! To surprise me. All the adventure and thrill. I don’t desire to just breathe and one day stop. I wish to live. I wish to feel alive every day. I want to laugh and I choose to cry. I’m thirsty for everything that life has to offer.

I want to fly!
Fly so high!