Today, while sitting alone at home, this thought touched the surface of my mind and my heart got curious. Suddenly, questions started to pop.
Is it? Is it possible? Is love overrated?
To wonder in this thought further, I googled the definition of love. So here are a few I found interesting:
As Paulo Coelho in The Zahir: A Novel of Obsession-
“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”
Haruki Murakami in Kafka on the shore-
“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time.“
Anais Nin, in A Literate Passion: Letters of Anais Non and Henry Miller, 1932-1953-
“What is love but acceptance of the other, whatever he is.”
Arun Pandit once said to me-
“If it’s not forever, it isn’t love.”
I agree with all these thoughts. But I like Haruki’s thought the most. We don’t fall in love with another person. Some people fall into the idea of love, some, as rightly said, are looking for their own missing pieces. And I think, I am both. I love the idea of falling in love and I am definitely looking for someone to complete me.
But why today, this is the most sought emotion? We see it in movies. Children’s stories – Cinderella, Princess, and the Frog, Beauty, and Beast, Tangled, to name a few. Songs mostly revolve around the idea. Who brought this idea of love? In the past, arranged marriages were a thing, and people later adjusted with each other. Are people being lured into some fantasy?
Any other day, I would have disagreed. But today, I want to accept it. I want to realize that this is just an emotion, which consumes you for some time, blinds you for a while, takes you to cloud seven then the descend starts. And then you hit your head and your eyes open. This is not once in a lifetime thing. For most people, they recover from one bump only to fall for somebody else. And, falling in love continues with people we meet in our life.
I am not here to argue whether love is real or not. Well, it must be. It’s being written about. And who is to say what’s real and what’s not. Everything that a person feels or experiences, is real for him. Reality may be different for different people but that doesn’t mean we defy each other’s opinion.
All said and done, why and how can someone else complete you? He can compliment you, but no one can make you whole.
Don’t you think, You have to do this yourself?
You have to realize that one has to be his biggest love. No love should be bigger than self-love. No love can fulfill you as you yourself can. In the end, my dear, you have to find missing pieces of your puzzle and put them together.
Being with someone, falling in love, being content and peaceful is fine. But what about the time you are alone? Are you happy? Do you enjoy your own company? I think these are the questions, one should be searching for answers to.
Ultimately, you are your own hero. You are the main character of your movie. This role cannot be played by someone else for you. Gone are the days when a princess had to wait for her prince to make her life happening. Today, the princess should aspire to become a Queen with or without a king.
So I guess, all I am trying to say is- Yes, Love is overrated. We need to tone it down a bit. Children, especially girls, should not be fed the idea of one true love and marriage from their childhood. They should be taught to take control of their life and be complete in themselves. Because there is nothing more attractive compared to a confident, content, and self-loving woman.